Proposed New FishHawk.net signu procedure
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:18 pm
So, we had alot of activity following up the picture of that Muskie from Petrie Island last weekend. A guy gets his first muskie ever, posts a pic, his third ever post on Hawk Talk, and get annihilated for it.
It is funny that folks talk about what a great bunch is on this board, how friendly it is, helpful etc and then you see stuff like this.
With that in my mind, I spent a fews days thinking about a new member sign up procedure and all in all some new operational procedures for new Hawk Talk members.
Here they are:
Step 1: Download fishing regulations from the MNR (link conveniently located on Fish Hawk)
Step 2: Study, study, study
Step 3: Take on line Fish Hawk Member Sign Up test, 100 questions, true or false, minimum 95% to pass cause we surely wouldn't want people breaking the law more than 5% of the time.
(Of course we would have the three strikes and your out rule. Cause if you cannot pass this test, we sure don't need you round here. )
Step 4: Once the candidate has passed the MNR Regs test, the candidate will be directed to spend a few weeks familiarizing himself with the past 50 or so pages on Hawk Talk. The intent of this familiarization period is to ensure that the idiot newbie doesn't post a question or start a debate that has been previously beat to death forcing some long time Hawk Talker to annihilate him/her for asking a question about a previously visited issue.
Step 5: Once the candidate feels appropriately versed in Hawk Talk history, a panel of experienced Hawk Talkers will grill the candidate in a live chat session on Hawk Talk history. Again, a 95% pass mark will be established because we wouldn't want the newbie to open recently healed wounds.
Step 6: Assuming we have a candidate that successfully passes step 1 thru 5, then we will know that we are truly dealing with a potential new member. At this point, the candidate will be required to spend a few months angling and submitting his/her pics to the aforementioned panel of experienced Hawk Talkers. The panel will assess the hold techniques and recommend appropriate procedures for proper fish handling. Once the candidate pic holds get up to snuff, the candidate will then move on to the final phase of the sign up procedure.
Step 7: The candidate will need to correctly identify bass spawning beds from looking at topographic map from bodies of water with which he/she is not familiar. This is a very critical step, because regardless of the fact that there are many species of fish in season in June, we cannot interrupt the bass spawn or be seen fishing within 100 yards of a location that could potentially host a bass spawn.
Assuming that the candidate passes step 7, he will become a certified member of Fish Hawk which of course comes complete with a laminated copy of the fishing regs.
No longer will a friendly Hawk Talker be recognized thru the attractive headwear, but instead, one fellow will sidle up to the other and say "psst, hey buddy, whats on the 2nd paragraph of the 24th page in the 2005 regs" And of course, those that cannot respond properly will be known for the impostors that they are!
Get a god damn life people. The guy had never caught a muskie before in his life and is ecstatic about it. He posts pics and gets annihilated for it.
Oh, I almost forgot the most important part. The swear in ceremony where the newbie Hawk Talker swears to become a hypocrite. This is especially important in those instances where an obviously very knowledgeable angler post a slew of pics of giant pike and no one, absolutely no one, has the balls to say jack about the vertical holds
Mick
It is funny that folks talk about what a great bunch is on this board, how friendly it is, helpful etc and then you see stuff like this.
With that in my mind, I spent a fews days thinking about a new member sign up procedure and all in all some new operational procedures for new Hawk Talk members.
Here they are:
Step 1: Download fishing regulations from the MNR (link conveniently located on Fish Hawk)
Step 2: Study, study, study
Step 3: Take on line Fish Hawk Member Sign Up test, 100 questions, true or false, minimum 95% to pass cause we surely wouldn't want people breaking the law more than 5% of the time.
(Of course we would have the three strikes and your out rule. Cause if you cannot pass this test, we sure don't need you round here. )
Step 4: Once the candidate has passed the MNR Regs test, the candidate will be directed to spend a few weeks familiarizing himself with the past 50 or so pages on Hawk Talk. The intent of this familiarization period is to ensure that the idiot newbie doesn't post a question or start a debate that has been previously beat to death forcing some long time Hawk Talker to annihilate him/her for asking a question about a previously visited issue.
Step 5: Once the candidate feels appropriately versed in Hawk Talk history, a panel of experienced Hawk Talkers will grill the candidate in a live chat session on Hawk Talk history. Again, a 95% pass mark will be established because we wouldn't want the newbie to open recently healed wounds.
Step 6: Assuming we have a candidate that successfully passes step 1 thru 5, then we will know that we are truly dealing with a potential new member. At this point, the candidate will be required to spend a few months angling and submitting his/her pics to the aforementioned panel of experienced Hawk Talkers. The panel will assess the hold techniques and recommend appropriate procedures for proper fish handling. Once the candidate pic holds get up to snuff, the candidate will then move on to the final phase of the sign up procedure.
Step 7: The candidate will need to correctly identify bass spawning beds from looking at topographic map from bodies of water with which he/she is not familiar. This is a very critical step, because regardless of the fact that there are many species of fish in season in June, we cannot interrupt the bass spawn or be seen fishing within 100 yards of a location that could potentially host a bass spawn.
Assuming that the candidate passes step 7, he will become a certified member of Fish Hawk which of course comes complete with a laminated copy of the fishing regs.
No longer will a friendly Hawk Talker be recognized thru the attractive headwear, but instead, one fellow will sidle up to the other and say "psst, hey buddy, whats on the 2nd paragraph of the 24th page in the 2005 regs" And of course, those that cannot respond properly will be known for the impostors that they are!
Get a god damn life people. The guy had never caught a muskie before in his life and is ecstatic about it. He posts pics and gets annihilated for it.
Oh, I almost forgot the most important part. The swear in ceremony where the newbie Hawk Talker swears to become a hypocrite. This is especially important in those instances where an obviously very knowledgeable angler post a slew of pics of giant pike and no one, absolutely no one, has the balls to say jack about the vertical holds
Mick
that's what makes the internet so valuable, you can learn a lot in the right places, and I fished for 40 yrs before I got here!