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By Doug Newhoff and the Fishing the WildSide On Ice Pro Staff
'Twas the night before Christmas and all around the boat,
I searched high and low for a Thill Mini-Float.
Rusty lures were all hung in the carpet with care,
In hopes that new Max Gap jigs soon would be there.
Rods stood snarled in a corner like a thicket of trees,
In desperate need of some Gemini Rod Sleevz.
My holey old gloves and an On-Ice Tour cap,
Neglected and stashed for a long winter's nap.
Visions of Rangers and Lunds danced around in my head,
Powered by Evinrude and colored in red.
As I turned on my flasher, it made such a clatter,
Why it’s older than I am, that’s what was the matter.
An underwater camera would surely be nice,
For my upcoming ventures out onto the ice.
And what I wouldn’t give for a new Mitchell reel,
Or some Buck Tracker boots, now that’d be the deal.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a bag with my name on it hidden in the rear.
It was rounded and lumpy and filled to the top,
And I knew that I shouldn’t, but I just couldn’t stop.
So I peeked in the bag and was delighted to find,
The things that I’d dreamt of in all shapes and kind.
There were Frostees and Techni-Glo tails and Ice Loks,
New spoons, lots of jigs and a pair of wool socks.
On Carhartt, on Lindy, on Coleman and Lund,
On Northland, on Gemini, on Bombardier fun.
On Beckman, on Irish Setter and Strikemaster,
On Ranger and Berkley; my heartbeat got faster.
On Mitchell, on Fenwick, on Abu Garcia,
On Icelar and Drift Control; oh, Mama Mia!
And I could be heard to exclaim as I slipped out of sight,
A Merry Christmas it shall be, but I won’t sleep tonight!
There’s something about December, and it’s not frost, snow, ice and thermal underwear.
It’s a language thing. For 11 months of the year, those closest to us have no problem saying exactly what they mean.
Wife to husband: “If you’re packing for an ice-fishing trip again, you might as well take your summer clothes, too.â€
Husband to wife: “You’ll love camping in the wilderness, honey. Just make sure to bring bug spray, toilet paper, old shoes and a hat.â€
Suddenly, it’s Christmas season, and it’s hard to get a straight answer. Here are a couple of translations that will help decipher the gibberish coming from the mouths of those on your shopping lists:
Response: “Aw, shucks. I don’t really need anything. I have you, dear.â€
Translation: “I need everything. Except another largemouth bass tie.â€
Response: “Spend it on the kids. Seeing them happy makes me happy.â€
Translation: “One more Nintendo game and I’m moving to the garage.â€
Response: “Roger has a new auger and an extra flasher. I can just use his.â€
Translation: “I wonder if he’s gotten over that rod and reel I dropped in the ice fishing hole?â€
Response: “My bibs and my boots will get me through another year.â€
Translation: “Remember that last trip to the dentist? Why do you think my fillings were loose
hope you all enjoyed!
merry Christmas eve and merry Christmas
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